eBay Listing Draft — "Prime Number Equation – Private Sale"


Title:
“Prime Number Equation – Geometric Proof & Algorithm (One-of-a-Kind)”

Item Condition: New
Category: Specialty Services → Other
Starting Bid: $1 or Best Offer
Returns: Not accepted
Quantity: 1 (seriously, only one)

Accepting payment in U.S. Dollars, Bitcoin or Weed.  Good weed... not that cheap shit.

Item Description

You are purchasing exclusive rights to a handcrafted, rigorously verified prime-number equation.

This is not a sieve.
This is not probabilistic.
This is not your great-grandfather’s number theory.

This is the equation.

It finds primes directly—and identifies and factors every composite around them—cleanly, deterministically, and with zero guesswork. If you’ve ever looked at RSA and thought, “Really, I'm safe because division is hard?  There has to be an easy way to unravel that...,” well… there is now.

What You’re Getting

  • ✅ One (1) complete geometric derivation in LaTeX format

  • ✅ Algorithm implementation notes

  • ✅ Real-world benchmarks

  • ✅ A bonus PDF titled:
    “So You’ve Just Broken RSA: A Gentle Introduction to Responsible Anarchy”

Applications Include:

  • ✅ Instant factorization of RSA-2048

  • ✅ Recovery of encrypted hard drives (yours, presumably)

  • ✅ Reversing Merkle trees, blockchain signatures, or politely rewriting national databases (Tweaks necessary)

  • ✅ Locating hidden primes in ciphertext headers

  • ✅ Light decryption of… everything

Do Not Purchase If:

  • ❌ You believe math is a liberal hoax

  • ❌ You trust Jesus to solve your differentials

  • ❌ You work at the NSA and think we can’t see you

  • ❌ You plan to “improve” the algorithm with AI.
    Please don’t.
    That’s how mine escaped.

Important Note

This formula does not directly open nuclear silos, unless the launch codes were generated by a predictable pseudo-random number generator.
Unfortunately, many of them were.
But not all.
If you’ve fired the people who had the passwords and locked yourself out of your own launch sequence, this equation probably can’t help you.
(But try it anyway. We won’t judge.)

Legal Disclaimer

Buyer assumes all ethical, spiritual, and karmic responsibility for how they use this knowledge.
Seller is not liable for any:

  • Geopolitical instability

  • Sudden vault openings

  • Bizarre nationwide power outages

  • Vatican system resets

  • Or allergic reactions to cognitive dissonance

Please consult your local government before “researching” their nuclear, biological, or chemical security infrastructure.  This is not like Child Pornography where private investigations are a civic responsibility, studying military security without mayoral approval is not wise.

Please NO HACKERS.  While I can verify every single detail about you in a moments notice, I won't as that would be illegal and unethical so I will take you at your word.  I trust you not use this to just rape the world at your whim.  

But say you feel the need to rob someone... 

**Cough** **Cough** Elon **Cough** **Cough** Rob Elon **Cough****Cough****Cough**

Sorry, if you feel the need to rob some shitty motherfucker... like say, that colostomy bag Elon Musk... don't, it's definitely illegal and completely unethical as there's no way to catch you.  Don't do it!

Shipping & Delivery

Upon payment, buyer will receive the equation via a one-time self-decrypting PDF routed through a rotating relay of dead email drops.

Includes:

  • ✅ SHA-512r checksum with the extra irony protection

  • ✅ A relatively short explanation as to how the Pyramids were probably built

  • ✅ Special Free Bonus:  My attempt at some “Pretty Good” Vogon poetry

THIS DOES NOT HAVE THE “NSA Warning Label” Lot 43-B: Forbidden Math (Reclassified Level ∅) encrypted in the stopbits.

I checked.



Not Supported by Sally Struthers

GIVE TODAY!!!

Forward any and all questions to the email address you will be provided when you donate to my special cause... Me.  Yes,  for just a few ducats, you can help the needy and find out how to participate in the public auction on Ebay.  Send precise increments of 3.93 wETH on the Polygon network to this address:    

0x028eBE315be9086EEAc9C307e8904b2d271b6401  <--------- CLICK ME!!! Do it!    WaIt!!DoNt!!!


and I will save the public address of the Ebay listing directly to your personal pc or laptop or if absoletly necessary even a Mac... though I prefer real computers.  Please make sure your computer is OFF after each donation as you cannot illegally hack a computer over the internet that is not turned on.  That is a fact.  Please disable WOW/L.  Wait 24 hours after donation and turn your computer back on and the file with the address will be in your 'data/bin' folder under root/subroot

However, ***Special Note *** If you do not recieve an immediate reply and you want an immediate response, you can and should, of course, keep Donating. By donating you are essentially sending more and more requests so logically that will get better results.  More is of course better and better is wise... but and this is key... $0 and you get nothing and getting nothing, that's NOT wise, that's bad. That is a fact.  Think about it.  You do not want to be a FOMO.  Donate today, the mortgage I pay will be mine. The life you make better... Mine as well.  Act now.  Give Generously!


---


ᮚᬝ᬴ᭊ᭟ᬮ᭢ᬚឰឮ᮱*

[*] Recovered from Lagrangian drift in the old suffix plane.

Protocol: EPH-RΣ.04 – Fragment C




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